Rebel Rebel
by BikerVixen
Summary: After Alex and the team go to the Railway Arms, Alex realises that she misses Gene and sets about trying to get back to him and Fenchurch East.
1. Chapter 1

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter One**

The Railway Arms was heaving, the sound of laugher and good cheer filled the air. Alex sat at the small table by herself, nursing a large glass of red wine. She could hear Ray and Chris laughing across the other side of the pub, she smiled to herself. Those two would never change. That was something she would always be thankful for, they were always happy, looking at the brighter side of everything.

"You okay, Ma'am?".

Alex looked up from her musings, Shaz was standing over her smiling.

"Yes Shaz, just thinking".

"He'll be fine, he's the Guv", Shaz desperately wanted to make Alex feel better. They had all watched Alex stare at the door. At moments like that, she was no longer the posh bird, she was vulnerable and pining for her lost love, and they pitied her.

"Shaz, it's your round", Ray called across the throng.

Shaz threw her eyes up to heaven, "in a minute Ray, we ain't goin anywhere", she shouted back. A rumble of laughter rang through the crowd.

"Bloody Plonks", Ray groused good naturedly. A busty blonde caught his eye and he whistled at her. She turned around and smiled at him. Ray's blue eyes sparkled and winking at her, he strolled over to her. He loved this place, he thought to himself as he casually put his arm around the blonde's shoulder.

"What's your name love?".

Chris appeared beside Shaz, even now he followed her everywhere. Alex blinked away tears from her eyes, the sight of Chris and Shaz together reminded her of she had left behind. _Gene, _she thought to herself_, are you okay, do you even remember me?_

In the background the jukebox played Life on Mars. Alex took a sip from her glass of wine, if Nelson did not change that song on the juke box soon, she might end up strangling him. Alex smiled to herself, completely forgetting that Chris and Shaz were watching her. They looked at each other, the same thought passing between them without either of them having to utter a word. _We have to get the Guv. _Shaz sat down beside Alex and Chris took his cue to leave.

Chris knew what he had to do, he had to talk to Sam. Sam and his girlfriend Annie had come to the Railway Arms three years before the Fenchurch East CID team did, they were all still new to how things worked and Sam had always been a stickler for the rules and the right way of going about things. Chris scanned the pub, he was always amazed that in this crowd he could always find his friends, it did not matter how packed the pub was. There they were, Sam and Annie were sitting in an alcove holding hands and whispering to each other. Even after ten years together they still acted like love struck teenagers. Chris hated having to disturb them but he knew they all had to do something to help Alex, every single hour was spent watching the door. It was heart breaking to watch the hope on her face when the pub door would open, it was never the Guv, just another copper who had made it through Cop Limbo as Ray liked to call it.

When you thought of heaven, you always assumed that it was a place of great joy and for most part it was, but sometimes you would remember what it was like before and your heart would give a funny twist. Chris could understand how Alex was feeling. He missed the Guv too, obviously not in the same way but he knew they would always have a piece missing from the group until the Guv decided to join them.

Chris sat down facing Sam and Annie, he sat there smiling waiting for them to notice him. Chris did not mind being ignored, he knew they would realise he was there. Annie was the first to notice that Chris had joined them.

"Chris why didn't you say something?", Annie asked half laughing, even now Chris reminded her of her daft younger brother.

Chris just shrugged "You both looked so cosy, I didn't have the heart to interrupt".

Sam took a sup of from his pint "aah that's good stuff", he set down his glass "So Chris, what's up?".

Christ did not waste any time getting to the point "It's Alex".

"What about her?", Sam asked, looking at Annie and Chris.

Annie threw her eyes up to heaven "Sam, isn't it obvious, she misses the Guv?".

Sam looked bewildered, "We all miss him but he had work to do", he was forever a pragmatist.

"No Sam, it's different for Alex, her and the Guv; they had something", Chris stumbled to find the right words.

Sam was shocked, "Romantically?", he had thought Gene would be too low brow for posh totty like Alex.

"Saaaaam", Annie was exasperated, "of course romantically she has been staring at the door since she arrived".

"Has she?", Sam's detective skills had become somewhat lax since he came back to the Railway Arms.

"We need to do something, she's heartbroken", Chris felt the need to plead Alex's case.

Sam snorted into his pint, Annie slapped his arm and Chris looked at them dumbfounded.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry mate", Sam tried to choke back a laugh, "it's just, I never thought I would see the day when someone was mooning over the Gene Genie".

"I think it's lovely", Annie said dreamily "the Guv needs a strong woman who won't take any flack from him".

Sam looked at Chris and shook his head.

_Women!_, it was written on both of their faces and Chris smiled conspiratorially.


	2. Chapter 2

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Two**

Gene sat with his feet up on his desk. His cowboy boots needed cleaning. The woman with the brown hair and beautiful hazel eyes used to do a really good job polishing them for him. He would remember her name in a minute or two. Sometimes he would forget things, important things.

_Bolly! _

That's what her name was, he braced himself for the pain to hit his heart, it always ached when he thought of Bolly or Bolls as he liked to call her, his feisty partner.

At the time, he had wished with everything inside of him that he could prevent her from going into the Railway Arms, but it was her time, and Gene could no longer stand in her way.

Gene's face was set in a perpetual scowl as he looked out into the open plan area in front of his office, he could see plonks and officers talking on the phone and it soothed him for a while. This was where he belonged, in CID pretending to be Gary Cooper in High Noon.

The truth was that he missed his old team, there was no one left from before. He wondered what they were all getting up to in the Railway Arms, did they miss him or even think of him for that matter. He tried not to think about it, he needed to concentrate on the job at hand.

Everyone in the open plan office was relatively new and they were all still afraid of him. They did not realise yet that they could stand up to him. Gene knew that time would come but until then it was boring when they all bloody towed the line and did what he told them do, not a rebel among the lot of them, he sighed deeply. He was getting maudlin as he got older he reflected, but he knew that was not true. It was her, she had pierced his heart and now the days seemed long and meaningless without her. He had hoped when she had gone that he would go back to the way things were before she jumped into his world trussed up like a posh prossie, but they didn't. The days seemed long and cold without her.

A couple of times when he was walking home from Luigi's he had thought he had seen her and chased after her, but it was never her, just some startled women who was misfortunate enough to look like his Bolls.

He grumpily looked down at the newspaper on his desk, it was opened on Page 3 and some blonde with huge knockers was leering at him suggestively.

"Jesus, what age are you love?", Gene said aloud, the girl looked no more than sixteen, he closed the paper with disgust and noticed the date 13th June 1986.

He felt he had lost his fight, he wondered if that meant his time was coming towards an end. Would he go off happily to the Railway Arms or would Jim Keats con him into taking the elevator downstairs. Sometimes, Gene thought he could hear the screams coming from the basement, it sounded like they were being tortured. Gene knew he was lucky, he never had to escort anybody there, it was always the Railway Arms and it was good boozer as boozer's go.

"Guv".

Gene was broken out of his sullen reverie, he looked up scowling "God dam' it Costigan, can't you see I'm working".

His new DI Patrick Costigan was a good bloke, but he did not like to make waves and he was having a hard time finding his way. He tended to cling to Gene. Gene knew this was not a good omen, if Costigan was not able to fight back and stand his ground and make up for past mistakes, he would not be moving on to the Railway Arms. He would be recruited by Keats for the basement.

Costigan dithered at the door and Gene wondered how in hell did Costigan ever make it to DCI in the other world. Do they really want dithering indecisive Sissy Mary's for coppers in 2010? Gene did not believe so but he was getting old and he was set in his ways, what did he know?

"Well Costigan I have not got all bloody day", Gene growled from behind his desk.

"Em sorry Guv, it's just we have arrested someone for the Granny Basher Murders", Costigan answered. The Guv always brought him out in a sweat, he sometimes got the impression that Gene would deliberately try to provoke him.

"Is he our man?", Gene asked, he was not getting out of his chair otherwise.

"His psych profile points to a yes but he has an alibi", Costigan admitted.

Gene pondered the rest of the day, he could sit behind his desk and think about her or he could beat the lard out of some little bastard granny basher and see if his alibi would hold up. Hmm that was a dilemma.

"I'll be in to interview him in a couple of minutes", Gene opened his drawer, and pulled out a bottle of scotch, he poured himself a stiff drink, then realised that Costigan was still standing there watching him.

Gene looked up crossly "Well get going Paddy, chop chop, you can hold his hand for a few minutes before the Gene Genie comes in to get the truth".

Costigan scurried out of the office. Gene shook his head and smiled to himself before knocking back his scotch in one gulp and lighting a cigarette.

Costigan made his way to the interview room, suddenly everything went black and he could hear a childs voice, he looked around frantically.

"Daddy, Daddy", the voice of a young child tearfully called.

"Seanie", Costigan shouted.

The lights came back on and everything returned to normal. Patrick was aware that everyone in the corridor was looking at him, he was embarrassed but he would shrug it off. He had to make the best of this place until he got home.

He nodded to the other officers as he passed them, he was well aware they were staring after him, he did not care. Hearing his young son's voice, brought the reality back to him, he was needed at home, his wife would not be coping well with the two kids on her own. Janet suffered from depression as it was, and two demanding toddlers were more than she could cope with.

He was still trying to get his head around the fact that he was a copper in 1985 and that his real body was lying in a ditch off the M25 in 2010, after being thrown from a car by a bunch of diamond thieves.

_I wonder If anyone has found me yet?_ Costigan would think idly and then shiver. He was beginning to forget things too, like his wife and kids. What his friends looked like. If his parents were alive or dead. He assumed he was in some sort of coma but he wasn't sure, sometimes he could hear people that were not there.

Costigan went into the store room which they used for an interview room. He felt tired, and going on a bender with Gene the night before had not helped, his head thumped, and the smell of filth and decay coming from the suspect was over powering and he had to fight the urge to gag. He eyed their suspect, his clothes were rags and he was filthy, it looked like he had been sleeping rough for a long time. Costigan felt uneasy being in his presence, there was something about him that unnerved Costigan.

Costigan took a seat in front of the suspect and tried not to inhale too deeply, he threw the file down on the desk "Lawrence Wilson, your file has been interesting reading". Costigan eyed the suspect and thought he could detect a sneer under Lawrence's scraggily beard.

Lawrence said nothing he just eyeballed Costigan, he had spent years in Broadmore and Stackhurst, this little ponce with his bright blue jacket with the sleeves rolled up and his poncy hair style were not going to intimidate him. Lawrence knew things, things about Fenchurch, about Gene Hunt, he was not going to bow to pressure for this little pipsqueak.

"When does the real police get here?", his voice was think and hoarse., Costigan could not make out if he was Welsh or Scottish, he looked at the file again, Lawrence was from Northern Ireland, that explained the coarse accent, he mused.

The door to the store room opened and Gene stood there looking at Lawrence.

"Jesus the stench, have you been bathing in manure?", Gene snapped irritably.

Lawrence did not flinch, he kept his eyes on Costigan, the smirk still on his face.

Gene swaggered up to the desk, the Sheriff was back in town. He leaned over, his hands resting on the desk to keep his balance, and he looked Lawrence up and down, without turning, Gene addressed Costigan.

"Where does this nutter come from?".

Costigan winced he knew what was going to happen, but he had to tell Gene the truth, "He is from Fermanagh".

"Aaah Northern Ireland I see the next question will be illuminating", Gene glanced at the file that was open on the desk "Lawrence, so tell me, are you Irish or British, are you for the common wealth or against it?", Gene spat the last two words out.

Lawrence looked at Gene for the first time since he entered, he smiled showing rows of rotten teeth.

Gene met his gaze, Costigan had to look away, he thought he might vomit.

"Right, you are going into a cell, a few hours in the urine stench might be quite refreshing for you, maybe then you will more inclined to talk", Gene said, it crossed his mind to give Lawrence a good thumping but he held off, let the dirty scumbag stew for a couple of hours, then he would get the full Gene Genie treatment.

"Costigan", Gene shouted, Costigan jumped up immediately, snapping out of his day dream.

Gene looked at him and tried not to shake his head in disappointment "Escort this gentleman down to the cells, please".


	3. Chapter 3

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Three**

A shadow fell over Alex as she took up her regular seat watching the door , she twisted the stem of her wine glass on her hand. It occupied her while she waited.

"Would you like a top up, love?".

Alex irritably took her eyes away from door and glanced at the owner of the voice. Nelson stood there with a smile on his face and a bottle of red wine in his hand, he held it up for her to see.

"It's a good vintage".

Alex smiled vacantly, she had more important things to be doing than talking to Nelson. Nelson poured the wine into her glass, Alex tried to feel enthusiastic about the free flowing alcohol but it just felt empty and she was beginning to get annoyed by the lovely dovey antics of Sam and Annie, Chris and Shaz. Even Ray the most hardnosed of the team, was getting schoomzy with some blonde, with what looked like breast implants. Sshe could not be sure and had to fight the overwhelming urge to go over and give them a squeeze just to see if they were real or not. It was true the more time she spent with her team, the more she became like them, boorish and bad mannered, though there were worse things to be.

Nelson did not wait for Alex to invite him to sit down, he smoothly sat down beside her. Alex continued to ignore him.

_Why can't everyone leave me alone_, she sighed to herself. _ Was heaven meant to be like this_? The same question went around and around in her head.

"This place is a Copper's paradise, you need to make of the most of it and get something that you want", Nelson explained calmly.

Alex looked at him startled, she had not realised she had spoken out loud. Nelson smile at her again, even after three years Alex had not realised that Nelson was aware of everything that happened in the Railway Arms.

"I can hear your thoughts Alex ".

Nelson waited for Alex to collect her thoughts, he could hear, sense and see the thoughts and images flashing through her mind and he could feel her trying to close her mind off to him. It was a collage of images of her parents, her daughter Molly, her ex-husband Pete and DCI Gene Hunt. Gene was splashed all over those images in her mind. Nelson waited patiently for Alex to look at him again.

"I can't stop you reading my thoughts", Alex said glumly.

Nelson shook his head "If it's any consolation, I can hear and see everyone's thoughts here, I can choose to shut them out if I want".

"Do you ever choose to?".

"Sure I do, I still need my own head space".

"So you know then?", Alex stared into her full wine glass.

"That you are in love with Gene Hunt, yeah I know", Nelson patted Alex's arm, she half smiled and then felt herself slump in her chair, she thought she had been fooling everyone.

Nelson laughed softly to himself "It's plain as day to everyone that you love each other".

Alex looked at Nelson again, to make sure he was not teasing her, he wasn't, suddenly there was hope in her voice "Do you think he loves me?".

"Loves You? Like you were the best thing since sliced bread".

Alex was excited it was something that she had dared not allow herself to hope for "Since when?".

Nelson looked perplexed, he did not think he could recall a time that Gene did not love Alex. The more moody and bad tempered he was around Alex generally signified how much he wanted to be with her.

"I think from the very beginning. When he carried you into Fenchurch East police station. We felt him change", Nelson was trying to cast his mind back but that's as far as he could see.

"Change, what sort of change, in what way?".

"He might be dead but he is still a man Alex", Nelson laughed and slid off the chair. He stopped and turned back "Alex, enjoy this place, make the most of it".

"But but will he ever come here?".

Nelson looked at her kindly, it was such a pity she had realised too late that she loved the Sheriff.

"Of course he will, Love, but until then enjoy yourself, this is heaven after all", Nelson then disappeared into the crowd.

Alex took a large slug of her red wine, she needed it and she needed to start formulating a plan. The get Gene Hunt to the Railway Arms Plan.

The Railway Arms was the equipped pub in the universe, if you need a room, one was always available, if you want to have a dancing troup of strippers, not problem, if you want to have a poker night hey presto!

Alex made a list of everything she wanted and handed it to Nelson. Nelson looked at the list and then looked at Alex, just to make sure she was not joking.

"This is what you want?", Nelson could not keep the disbelief out of his voice, he knew she had been thinking about it but he thought she would have put more on the list, or used a bit more imagination, she a Psychologist or was is Psychiatrist?

"Is it too much", Alex was beginning to feel deflated.

"Well , let us see, you are in heaven, you have been here for quite a while, apart from your clothes and make-up and a never ending supply of red wine you have asked for a room to hold a meeting in, a white board, white board markers, a cork board and a water cooler", Nelson just kept staring at Alex.

_The daft mare still did not get it!_

"This is it? You can have anything and everything you want and this sorry excuse for a list is what you give me?".

"I find it hard to think, when all I am doing is staring at the door. I need to work, get the team back together, Gene would want me to do that".

"But Alex, I have to state the obvious, there are no crimes in heaven. Alex, it's HEAVEN".

Alex kept her temper, she wanted Nelson on her side "There are still cases and crime out there, outside the Railway Arms". Alex was trying to be practical and at once Nelson understood how some of the CID team felt about Alex. Ray regularly daydreamed about throttling her.

"Nelson, I have to figure out things my own way and I know it's HEAVEN, but I have felt hopeless and stagnant since I came here", Alex said, the she spotted Ray canoodling with a set of twins and she pointed "Look even Ray gets women here, obviously anything is possible, so maybe there is a way I can still work as a Police Officer here".

Nelson sighed, this woman was so stubborn, "Okay, leave this sorry excuse for a list with me and I will organise it for you".

"Great you are the best, I will organise the team", Alex smiling, made her way over to Ray and buxom twins.

Ray was hand measuring the twins' cup sizes and they were laughing hysterically.

"Ray?", Alex called softly, half tempted to come back later.

"I don't know girls it looks like you both have the same bra size".

"RAY", Alex shouted, instantly a hush fell over the pub, Ray turned around and looked at Alex.

There were two pink patches on his cheeks, "What is wrong with you", he hissed as the noise level went up a notch again.

"Sorry girls I have to steal him for a minute", she nodded apologetically to the twins, they nodded their ascent, it was lucky they weren't intellectuals, she thought crossly to herself.

"I'm in there, what are you doing trying to ruin it for me?", Ray asked grouchily, he had been have a great time and posh bird comes and wrecks everything, she always did.

"Oh Ray for godness sake, you are already in, they will wait for you".

Ray smiled and nodded to the girls and they waved back at him, "Okay Alex what do you want".

Alex smiled at him triumphantly, "I want to get the Guv to join us".

Ray stopped eyeing the twins for a second and really looked at Alex, "You can't he needs to stay in Fenchurch, he would hate it here, he's always wanted to be a Copper".

Alex felt her hope fall to the bottom of her heart, she was sure that Ray would be the most enthusiastic supporter of getting Gene to join them.

Ray felt bad suddenly, he saw the crest fallen expression on Alex's face and he had to fight his instinct to give her a hug. "You both used to fight like cat and dog" he said accusingly.

"That's true we did but it was because neither of us could acknowledge our true feelings and we were masking them with hostility".

"Jesus Christ, I thought we had left all that psycho babble crap behind when we walked in through the doors of this pub", Ray was steadily losing patience.


	4. Chapter 4

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Four**

Nelson went into the downstairs backroom of the Railway Arms, it was the only room that was off limits to the punters. This was Nelson's own private space. It was a large room, painted white with dark oak furniture. One glance would confirm that was this a man's domain, it was both stark yet comfortable at the same time.

Nelson sat down on one of the recliners to rest for a second, he had just shut his eyes when the room became very warm and the sweet smell of roses filled the air.

Nelson knew what that meant, he opened his eyes and before him stood his Guardian Angel. In heaven Angels did not have names. Names were a human concept but Angels understood the need for humans to define things, so they accepted the names they were given by those the protected and served. Nelson called his Angel, Gideon. It was a biblical name and it had been Nelson's grandfather's name. Gideon was the most beautiful of any angel Nelson had ever seen, but then he supposed, everyone felt that way about their Guardian Angel when they met them.

Gideon was over seven foot tall, had caramel skin and at that precise moment his eye colour was amber and they shone like gold dust. His long dark hair fell in waves down to this waist. Nelson drank in the sight of him. Angels by their very nature where androgynous but Nelson always thought of Gideon as a male.

"Gideon, so nice to see you", Nelson said jumping out of his chair, he went forward into Gideon's arms and hugged him lightly, he took a step back and looked at him "Where are your wings?".

"I have appeared without them today, I did not want to alarm your customers", Gideon said softly, his mouth barely moved but Nelson could hear the words as clear as crystal.

"So it's not a social visit then?", Nelson asked.

"No, I have come to talk to you about Alex".

"Ah no, Gideon you can't take her yet, she needs to stay here", Nelson had hoped he would have more time to help Alex get used to things before the cavalry came to get her.

Gideon nodded, and it was as if waves of tranquillity filled the room.

Nelson began to feel lightheaded, "You know I once smoked some Moroccan gold that made me feel like that", he said dreamily.

Gideon smiled knowingly "Who do you think invented it?".

Nelson got lost in the calmness for a while, he reflected it was like floating on a calm blue ocean, their energy was so fresh it was intoxicating, and nothing else mattered, just this feeling of being at peace and knowing that you were loved.

Gideon watched him, he understood that his energy had this effect on human beings, such fragile beautiful creatures. Even in their malevolence they retained some of their beauty.

"Nelson, we would like Alex to come with us now, there is work to be done".

Nelson heard the voice in his head and tried to bring himself back to the room. He opened his eyes, and blinked, Gideon's eyes had changed colour from amber to emerald green. _Crafty Buggers!_, he thought to himself, _they entice you in with their beauty and you are completely powerless._

Gideon nodded and smiled, Angels were quiet ingenious about the ways they like to transfix humans.

Nelson tried to fight against the sea of calmness washing over him "Please let her stay another while she loves Gene. Can you believe that?".

"Two souls who have travelled across time and space, meant to be together. It's beautiful".

"Gideon, it's Gene, he's as hardnosed as they come".

"That's only because you concentrate on what is on the outside, his soul sings to us, he has saved everyone in your little establishment".

Nelson sighed, you could not argue with an Angel, they blinded you with their logic and kindness. "Okay mate fair enough, it's just strange and nice at the same time".

"We know", Gideon stopped for a moment, and his eyes took on a glazed sheen and he looked as if he had gone into a trance. Nelson knew from past experience that Gideon was conversing telepathically with the other angels.

Gideon's looked at Nelson, his eye colour had changed again, now they were violet and Nelson thought he would drown in them, he heard Gideon speak but could not see his lips move "We have decided to give you a chance to help Alex and Gene".

Gideon broke the spell, and Nelson regained some composure "Oh yeah that's great, what would you like me to do?".

Gideon smiled and waves of red light swept through the room "Look for the signs and then you will know what to do".

The red light became more intense then suddenly it vanished and Gideon was nowhere to be seen.

Nelson shook his head "Bloody Angels. I could do without the amateur dramatics you know!", but he was smiling at least he had some time to get Alex what she really wanted. That would take all of his skills and they were a little bit rusty, it was a long time since he had helped a punter, generally they were happy to stay in the Railway Arms.

It would be a challenge, he told himself and Nelson was always up for a challenge.

Jim Keats sat at his desk observing his drones at work. The air was black with tension and his squad could barely lift their heads from their desks. Jim smiled to himself, three of the recent drones were from Gene Hunt's squad.

He laughed hysterically and manically, "That's right keep working".

The drones knew not to lift their heads to find out what he was laughing at The drones no longer spoke to anyone, they did not even try to speak to themselves, there was no point all hope was lost. In their stupidity and vanity they had turned away from their DCIs and had believed the lies Jim Keats had told them. They had taken the easy option rather than do the hard work to make up for their past mistakes and now they were paying the price with an eternity of damnation.

Jim started laughing hysterically again, he loved the futility of it. The gullibility and stupidity of this lot never failed to amuse him. The best part though, was Gene, the great sheriff of toy town. Gene Hunt was fighting a losing battle, since he had lost his beloved team, he had not been able to guide his new recruits safely across, they had all been too weak and they fell at the first couple of hurdles.

Jim knew bringing Costigan across would take all his cunning. Costigan was not as affable as he made out to be. Jim could see the darkness working in Costigan, but there was still enough of his conscience left and for the moment that was winning against the blackness. Jim had time, Costigan would be going nowhere for the moment.


	5. Chapter 5

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Five**

Costigan sat in his dingy flat, the television had gone fuzzy again. He had thought he had heard his wife's voice coming from it. He dismissed the thought, he felt like he was trapped in a surreal movie like the Clock Work Orange. There were too many things happening and he felt he was losing his grip on reality. Everything seemed to be falling apart, if only he could make sense of what was happening that everything would be alright.

He wondered if anyone had found his body yet. Logically he knew this was some sort of dream he was trapped in, he just did not know if he wanted to wake up not really. He believed all cops harboured a suicide wish, that's why the joined the force in the first place. He never felt part of the real world, he was always an outsider looking in. His wife and kids were the only thing that proved he could be like other people. Though he did have to fall in love with a woman who veered between manic episodes of sadness and abandon. He hoped the kids were okay and that Julie his wife was on an even keel, now was not the time for her to go loopy and start leaving the kids at home unattended. The worry of everything sat crushingly on this chest, and he wished it would go away. Could he not forget for a while, just a while.

Suddenly the TV came to life, music blaring, some Bowie song, he could not identify, he had never been a fan of Bowie in the first place.

_"Put on your red shoes and dance the blues..."_

Costigan tried to shut the noise out by covering his ears but he was fighting a losing battle, he got up from his sofa bed and starting pressing the knobs on the TV. All the channels were playing the same thing. He smashed his hand against the TV switch. _There some peace at last,_ he thought to himself and deathly silence filled the room. Costigan breathed a sigh of relief.

Maybe he should talk to the Guv, though the Guv never seemed overly happy to stay with him. Maybe Costigan could give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him, ask him if he ever experienced funny episodes like he was having now. Gene drank enough scotch to sink the titanic, a man did not get like that from a happy go lucky life. Costigan felt that maybe Gene would understand the sadness, that's why he fought so hard, to try and outrun the sadness.

_That's it!_ Costigan thought, Gene is unhappy too, he is probably looking for a way out too. Maybe he hates being the Guv, maybe he would be happier in the Cost Del Sol getting sun burnt and drinking tequila sunrises. Costigan could see Gene now standing at some Spanish bar, slugging down a cocktail in his black suit and three quarter length coat, his glass in one leathered gloved hand and his gun in the other, insulting all the Spaniards and calling them bastards.

Yes, that's what Costigan would do, he would take his courage in his hands and approach the Guv, maybe they could even go for a drink together without the rest of the squad around them, comrades in arms, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. It was worth a shot, Costigan reasoned, actually at this point anything was worth a shot.

He sighed from his toes up, _let me sleep forever_, he thought to himself.

_Let them take me now, I don't want to fight. I want peace, I want to be able to shut my mind to everything and everyone. _Costigan hated himself for being so weak, but he felt that everything up to this point had been about surviving and getting through the day so he could start another pain staking, heart breaking day.

He was struggling mentally with the weight of it all. He wondered what was wrong with him, he should want to get back to his family, he should want to feel Seanie put his arms around his neck as he scooped him up his arms. He should want to feel Julie's breath against his neck as she slept in the night but he didn't, he wanted blackness to envelope him forever.

_Why was it taking so long_, he wondered, he had been here for three months, he knew that meant nothing in the real world, in the real world that could be a millisecond.

He sat back down on the green mouldy sofa bed and tried to think of things that he would miss if he never went back, but his mind was blank. Panic set in, he needed to think. He had not always felt like this, before the depression had set in what had he liked to do, football, he used to love kicking the ball around on a Saturday with his mates, Manchester United he was a huge fan, a pint of Boddingtons larger, his wife Julie's face when he had asked her to marry him. When Seanie was born and he held him for the first time that had been an amazing feeling, seeing those blue eyes looking up so thrusting, and Seanie had grabbed his finger and in that second Costigan knew that he would have done anything for that child, he would have killed to keep him safe.

When did that go away he wondered? When had looking after Seanie not been is priority, when had everything become so dismal and hard.

Costigan knew when it had happened but he did not want to admit it to himself, to say it out loud, would make it real, and he had put that episode to the dark recesses of his mind more than 18 months ago.

Don't think about, it's over, forgotten, it's in the past.

It was like a spectre in the back of his mind, a shadow over his soul.

_Think of something else, anything else_, he pleaded with his mind. His mind always went against him, it always dragged him back to that time, he could never escape it and he knew that.


	6. Chapter 6

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Six**

Caroline Price sat in a dingy little room in the Railway Arms, she looked around and tried to take a the look of disgust off her face, she could never understand why this had been picked as a portal to heaven.

Of all the places, she shook her head and collected her thoughts, these thoughts were insignificant, this place was one of trillions of places in heaven, so what if the unwashed masses wanted to come through this dingy pub.

Caroline patted down her skirt, she liked to have everything just right, and dust on a Chanel suit was just not going to cut it. To pass the time, she took her compact out of her handbag and checked her appearance, her hair and makeup were immaculate, she smiled at herself, she was a very attractive women she conceded, she had barely aged since she had last seen Alex.

Her beautiful headstrong daughter, she had heard the rumours that Alex would not leave the Railway Arms that she sat there waiting patiently for Gene Hunt to arrive. Caroline took a deep breath, held it and then let it out slowly. It did not bear thinking about, her daughter in love with an uncouth, boorish, slovenly man who was the antithesis of political correctness. She would never understand it. How could anyone love Gene Hunt? She would never be able to get her head around it. If only Tim was here to talk to about it, but she had not seen her husband in a very long time.

She mulled over everything for the hundredth time and was caught in this reverie, when Nelson bounded through the door.

"Alright Caroline", Nelson said chumily.

Caroline eyed her dreadlocked counterpart with a tight smile, I should be drinking gin and tonics with the girls right now she though crossly.

"Nelson, why did you summon me to this god awful place?".

Nelson smiled, Caroline was going to be a pill, he just knew it, "We have to do something about Alex".

Caroline arched an eyebrow "My beautiful daughter is in your filthy dingy pub sitting in the same spot waiting for Gene Hunt, what would you like me to do?".

"We have to find away to help her, the angels want to take her". Nelson said nothing else as he saw the shock pass over her face. She had not been expecting that had she, he tried not to feel smug but Caroline made it bloody hard.

"But but she has only been here three years".

"I know that but Alex was always part of their plan".

"No I won't have it, I don't want my daughter to be an Angel", panic and self righteousness began to take over, Caroline was not going to lose her precious daughter to the Angels.

Nelson sat down and calmly waited for Caroline to gather her thoughts.

She looked at him defiantly and smacked her hand down on the table in front of her "We will just have to get Gene Hunt here".

"Thank Christ for that Caroline, for a moment I thought you were going to let her go", Nelson tried unsuccessfully to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

"Oh my God, look at the choice, an Angel running around after everyone on earth, and they could not give a toss about you or being stuck here with a complete Neanderthal".

Nelson got up from the table and moved towards the door "Gene would like being called a cave man, he would think that's quite butch".

Caroline threw her eyes up to heaven "Is she still sitting there".

"Yep in the same place, staring at the door like a love sick teenager, do you want to see her".

Caroline hesitated she would like nothing better than to spend time with Alex and explain that she had known all along that Alex had been her daughter when they had met again in 1981 but she knew it was not the right time. Alex had to sort this thing out with that gorilla she was obsessed with.

Sadly she shook her head, "No it's not the right time".

Nelson nodded he understood, it was hard not seeing your family when they were so close, he knew only too well, he went to leave hoping that was the end of their conversation but Caroline called him back.

"Nelson, do you ever hear..." Caroline stopped mid-sentence.

Nelson turned to her and looked at her quizzically, he wanted to give her a chance to change her question but they both knew she would not.

"Tim, do you ever heard about Tim?".

This was not the first time Caroline had asked him that questions he smiled, looked her in the eye and lied. "No Caroline, I have not heard a thing".

Caroline nodded, this had been the answer she had been expecting. She wanted to howl and let out the pain and guilt that had been sitting in her chest for all these years but she could not, not in front of Nelson.

"Come on Caroline, I will see you out", Nelson gestured kindly to her and he felt a little sad for her. Caroline had always blamed herself for what had happened, she felt she had driven Tim to kill his family.

Even now he could see it in her thoughts, the guilt over Evan, even now she could not justify the affair, she did not know what had come over her at the time and wished that she could take it back. That Tim could be here with her and that they could make peace and she could apologise for hurting him so.

Caroline patted down her hair, and straightened her posture, she plastered on a smile and walked towards Nelson.

"Thanks Nelson".

They walked down the dark green corridor, they both knew without saying that the portal had been activated at the end of the corridor, the last door, blue brilliant light was beaming through the cracks, Caroline could go back to her place and be with her friends now.

Before she opened the door, she turned to Nelson, she gently kissed him on the cheek, encasing him in the waft of Chanel No. 5.

"You will keep me posted", she asked, all at once she was not Caroline Price imminent Barrister but a vulnerable woman who was worried about her only child.

Nelson hugged her, "Of course I will love, now be off with you, and I will keep an eye on Alex".

Caroline opened the door and in a flash of blue light she was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Seven**

Ray stood at the bar, he toyed with the idea of going behind the bar and pouring his own pint, he looked around nobody was paying any attention to him, his blue eyes sparkled with mischievousness and he slipped behind the bar and grabbed himself a clean glass. Just as he was about to pull the tap on his favourite ale, Nelson walked back in, he said nothing and just watched as Ray expertly pulled himself a fresh pint, he was lost in his own little world.

"You are a natural, hey Ray?".

Ray lost in a world of his own, looked around suddenly "Eh sorry Nelson, didn't think you would mind me pulling myself a pint, cracking ale", his cheeks had gone slightly pink, he looked like a child caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.

Nelson smiled, "It's okay Ray, you are free to go behind the bar if you want, there are no restrictions here, it's not like the other place".

Ray nodded and turned back quickly before his glass overflowed, he smiled lifted his glass in salute and then took a long draft.

"Aaah that's the stuff", he wiped the ale head from his moustache.

Nelson continued to serve but kept his eye on Ray. _Maybe, maybe?_ he thought to himself. He looked at Ray, out of everyone from the squad Ray seemed the most happy and at ease, it was like he had finally chased his demons away. Here he no longer had to remind himself of his strained relationship with his father, or about that young lad he had accidently killed. Nelson had observed Ray for a long time, and had knew his sadness, it surrounded him like a green shield, blocking everything out, Ray had got through life on earth and in Fenchurch by trying to be the hard man, trying to prove himself to everyone around him. Here in this special oasis, Ray no longer had anything to prove.

"I meant what I said", said Nelson as he prepared a pina colada for one for the elderly police officers.

"He looks like Dixon from Dock Green", Ray winked at the copper who salaciously winked back, Ray laughed, there was no homophobia here.

"Ray, stop flirting with everything".

Ray stopped and looked at Nelson, he had not realised he was doing that, he was just happy and wanted to share it with everyone "Sorry I'm not, this is a great place Nelson".

"Thanks Ray, you are not listening to me though".

Ray stopped winking at the female police officers that had come in earlier, "They look right tasty".

Nelson threw his eyes up to heaven, and reflected he had been doing that a lot lately, maybe it was time for him to move on to new ground. This place could work very well without him now, he would just need someone to take it over, someone who could bridge the gap between both worlds. He looked at Ray again, you never knew, maybe Ray was the man, he had the gift of the gab when it suited him and the female coppers loved him, no matter how unpolitically correct he was.

"Would you like to help behind the bar from time to time Ray?".

Ray looked at Nelson to see if he was joking, nope he looked serious, work behind the bar, that might be interesting, it would also be the first job he took where he would not be trying to impress his dad or Gene.

"Yeah, I would like to give it a bash if you'll let me".

Nelson started to pour a pint of Guinness but the tap was empty, "com'on then come down to the cellar with me and I will show you how to change a barrel".

Ray downed the rest of his pint in one go, slammed the glass down on the bar "Excellent, I have always wanted to do that".

Nelson took a quick glance over the side of the bar, there Alex was still there staring at the door, the granny basher file set out in front of her, he would have to do something about that room she requested otherwise she would get carbuncles on her arse from sitting there so long.

Ray noticed her too and wanted her to share in his excitement "Hey Alex, Nelson's going to show me how to change a barrel, do you want to come and watch?".

Alex looked up at him and smiled non committally "I don't think I would be much help Ray, you would probably be better off on her own".

Ray shook his head "Wait here Nelson".

He went out from behind the bar went around to Alex and gently put his hand on her arm. Alex looked at him startled, Ray was never given to emotional gestures and it shocked her, he really was changing and coming into his own.

"Alex, you need to move from there before you get carbuncles on your arse".

Alex was so shocked, she let Ray gently pull her out of the chair and bring her around the bar. Nelson stood gobsmacked looking at Ray, he would never have thought that Ray would be able to read mines.

"I might look like a thick Northerner but I am not", Ray said calmly to Nelson.

"You kept that bloody quiet Ray", Nelson exclaimed.

Ray shrugged, and looked slightly embarrassed "Well it's a bit, you know, pooffy".

Alex looked at both of them, and then it finally clicked "Can Ray read minds too?".

Ray smiled, his cheeks had gone redder.

"So have you been listening to my thoughts Ray?", Alex asked shocked.

Ray looked her in the eyes, his stare never wavering, "I was too busy picking up birds to be listening to your thoughts posh bird".

Alex smiled gratefully and walked ahead down to the cellar, as soon as she was out of ear shot, Ray nudged Nelson "I just lied".

Nelson laughed "I know, but it was very convincing".

"Thanks I do try, so are you going to show me how to change a barrel or what?".

"This way Mr. Carling, this way", Nelson made his way down to the cellar, Ray following behind him.

Alex's voice came up to greet them "It's very dingy down here".


	8. Chapter 8

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Eight**

Gene finished his pint at the bar, "Why did you come back Luigi", he asked suddenly.

Luigi looked at Gene and came closer so the rest of the bar would not hear what he was about to say "Because I could not forget London, I went home to Italy, to my beautiful town, and I was bored, it was too quiet".

"You came back for the noise?".

Luigi laughed to himself "ah Mister Hunt, it is my real home, I have been here since I was young man, this is my home".

Gene was surly, he looked down at his pint and realised he did not have the heart to finish it, what was wrong with him, he wondered, he seemed to have lost all his gusto.

"You miss her", Luigi said, nodding his head, he already knew the answer no matter what Gene said.

Gene nodded grumpily "Aye Luigi, I do, more than I thought possible".

"Ah Senora she was a beauty, feisty too", Luigi acknowledged.

"She was Luigi, she would cause a row even in heaven", Gene felt his heart sink, the thought of Bolly in heaven, questioning everything and trying to do everything her own way, made him feel sick, he wished with all this might that she was here with him now.

"I don't know, I think she needed you, you made her fight and question herself, I think she was more alive with you than she had ever been before".

"I had to let her go, Luigi, it was her time", Gene conceded.

"Maybe, but there are always a way around things, no?", Luigi raised his eyebrow. Gene was not that quick on the uptake these days, he had lost his drive and it was beginning to show in everything he did, Luigi continued "sometimes a Sheriff needs the right deputy sheriff before he can do his job properly".

Gene just felt bereft, he was in no mood to talk in riddles with Luigi and he was still coming to terms with the fact Luigi had come back and re-opened the bar and restaurant.

About a month before hand Luigi had appeared in his office at Fenchurch East, straight off the plane from Italy, offering Gene, Bolly's old flat.

"All her stuff is still there Mister Hunt, I do not have the heart to throw it out, will you come and take a look".

Gene had come to the flat with the intention of cleaning the flat out, but when he had got there, he was not able to remove any of her stuff, her makeup was still on the dressing table, there was an empty wine bottle on the kitchen table. Gene ventured that he could still smell her perfume. He just could not put all her stuff in black bags and throw them on a skip it was not right, it meant that she was really gone, and Gene did not think that he could handle that, it was too much to contemplate, this way there was still hope that by some quirk of faith, she would be allowed come back or he would be allowed go to her.

"Luigi, what's the rent on this place?".

"Ah thirty pounds a week", Luigi asked, he knew he was going to lose rent even before the negotiations began.

"Right I will give you twenty pounds a week, and I won't cause you any problems, you will get your rent first thing on a Friday", Gene watched as Luigi mulled it over.

"Com'on Luigi, you have not rented the place out in three years, you know me well and any trouble I cause will be down in your bar".

"That's true Mister Hunt, you do like to cause trouble in my bar".

Gene looked at him crossly "I also put wad loads of cash into your establishment".

"That's also true, twenty pounds it is", Luigi held out his hand towards Gene, Gene grabbed it and shook if roughly, Luigi tried not to wince.

Gene took his wallet out from his inside coat pocked, pulled out a twenty pound note and handed it to Luigi "there you go my first weeks rent, now clear off I have stuff to be doing".

Luigi grabbed the money from his hand and started muttering to himself, even after all this time Gene Hunt could be a narky git, he made his way out the door and went down to his restaurant to start opening op.

Gene sat down on the sofa, picked up one of the cushions and held it to his face, yep he could definitely smell her perfume from it. What was he going to do, imagine at his age being madly in love, he thought that kind of stuff was for teenagers and women, not for hard men like him. His heart ached, he knew a time was coming where things were going to change but he did not want to face that right now, he was terrified that he might find out that he would never see Bolly again. He did not want to forget about her, he wanted to remember her always. He held the cushion to his chest and felt the warmth of it and closed his eyes for a second and inhaled deeply. This way he could pretend he could almost hear her voice, and pretend that she was still with him in this world.

"Guv, are you listening to me. Guv, can you hear me?".

Gene opened his eyes, he was not sure if that was real or if he imagined it. He looked around the room, nope obviously he had imagined it. He threw the cushion to one side and got up and headed into her bedroom.

Her bed was unmade, the last time she was in it, she had probably jumped out quickly had a shower and got dressed and headed into the station not realising that this would be the last time she would ever come back. Gene opened the wardrobe and looked at her clothes, hanging up just in front of him was Bolly's white leather biker jacket, he gently pulled it out and held it to him.


	9. Chapter 9

Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes Original Characters, Fenchurch East Police Station, the Railway Arms, Luigi's and Alex's flat are owned by Kudos Film and Television, Monastic Productions and the BBC. Everything else (including the new characters) are owned by me.

**Chapter Nin**

The team sat down in the white room and looked at the whiteboard that Alex had set up, she had written that Gene's name in the middle of the board with had drawn a big circle around it. Everybody looked uncomfortable, Sam kept glancing at the door.

Alex knew she would have to get the ball rolling, so she stood up and smiled at the team.

"Thank you all for showing up, that means a lot to me", she said sincerely.

Chris nodded "No problem, Ma'am, we would like to help".

Alex looked at the rest of the team, they did not seem that enthusiastic, she already felt defeated.

"Go on, Ma'am, tell them your idea", Shaz said, she did not want Alex to become even more defeated than she already was.

It made Shaz sad that Alex and the Guv were not together, it was kind of like Romeo and Juliet except they were both middle aged.

Alex pointed to the name on the whiteboard, she felt nervous, it felt like a long time since she had gathered a team together and prepared them for a job. All the team were looking at her and she realised she still had not said anything. She smiled and felt her bottom lip tremble, this was not meant to happen.

Sam stood up and walked towards her, "here drink this", he said kindly, pushing a glass of water into her hand.

Alex took the cup in trembling hands and felt the water flow through her dry mouth, she swallowed hard and looked at her team again. They seemed concerned and worried about her, she needed to pull her act together, everyone was depending on her.

She smiled genuinely "Sorry, it's been awhile since I have done this".

Everyone nodded, she realised that the understood and that they wanted to help her.

She pointed at the name on the whiteboard again, "This man connects us all. He may be even unwittingly, though I would not put it past him, made us a family".

"A family of misfits", Ray snorted, the rest of the team turned around and gave him a filthy look "Aaah I was only joking", he said good humouredly.

"Anyway, I need to get back to Gene", there it was finally out, she had admitted allowed to the team, she looked around at them, they did not look shocked.

"You want us to help you leave the Railway Arms?", Annie asked, she was slightly shocked, it was lovely here, why would anyone want to leave.

Alex nodded, she felt tears prick the back of her eyes.

"Maybe we could get the Guv to come here", Sam was thinking out loud, everyone turned to him.

"Well we have been here five years, we have never seen anyone go back out to limbo, if you leave it's to go somewhere else in heaven".

Annie nodded in agreement "That's right Alex, I don't think it can be done".

Alex smiled and played her trump card "Gene was picked for his job, he was our guardian".

That made sense but they still were not sure where Alex was going with this.

Sam was the first to speak "That's true but we don't know if the Guv came from the Railway Arms, he could have been somewhere else before he became the Guv".

Alex was excited, she knew she could rely on Sam to start the serious thinking "That's right, he was in heaven and then came back to help us, it was his job, he was the only one aware that he needed to keep us safe".

"Let me get this right", Ray said, "you want us to go back to CID and work with Gene".

"Yes, don't you want to go back, Ray? You loved working for Gene", Alex could feel herself pleading.

"Aye I did, but I love it here, there's no more guilt, no more worry about what my Dad thinks, and I like working behind the bar, I get to chat up more birds that way", Ray was trying to explain in his own misogynist way.

Chris interrupted "Excuse me Ma'am, maybe we could go back for a while, not for ever, for special assignments".

Alex nodded, she felt deflated, she had somehow got it into her head, that they would all want to go back with her, she did not want to leave them here, at least when she was here she could keep an eye on them and pretend that she was continuing Gene's job for him.

"You know what Ma'am, I think Sam was onto something there", said Shaz, "what if we got the Guv here, we could always set up a squad here if needed".

Alex was shocked, she had never thought of that "Do you think that would be possible Shaz?".

Shaz nodded "I asked Nelson before, and he said we could ask for anything we wanted in the Railway Arms and where it was possible it would be granted to us".

"Why did you ask Nelson that Shaz?", Ray was more interested now.

Shaz looked embarrassed and knew that everyone was looking at her, she looked up and met Alex's eyes, "I was worried about you Ma'am, and I knew, you were, you were ... missing the Guv, so I asked Nelson if there was anything we could do to help you and get the Guv here".

Alex walked over, bent down and enveloped Shaz in a hug, she felt the tears leave her eyes and slide down her cheek "Thanks Shaz you are really good friend".

Shaz hugged her back, "I just wanted to you to be happy, like we are, it's not fair that you don't have the Guv here with you".

Sam walked back up to where the board was and started writing, "What we need is a plan, we need to convince Gene Hunt, that he has to come to us, that his place is with us". Sam stopped for a moment, he was lost in thought, "Is there any way we can find out what cases Gene is working on at the moment".

"We could ask Nelson, he would want to help", Annie offered, getting up from her chair, "I am going to get him now".

"Good woman Annie", Sam said appreciatively as he watched her leave the room.

"There's no need, I have their current case here, they have dubbed it the Granny Basher", Alex held it up for the rest of the team to see.


End file.
